Running sets me free.

I think about running a lot. Probably more than the average runner. It turns out I may have a slight addiction. I can’t stop my mind from daydreaming about early morning summer runs, or PRing at my first 5K of the season. I’m on a quest to figure out what I like about running, and why can’t I stop thinking about it. I’ve been looking inward quite a bit, particularly on my treadmill runs.

I’m mama to two little people who are absolutely insane. I love them so much but we’re not a quiet family. I’m excitable and dance and sing with the kids, which causes them to be excitable as well. The decibels alone in my home are that of a metal concert. And that’s not counting toddler temper tantrums, parental reprimands, or sibling squabbles. Squeals of joy, arguments that escalate into yells, singing at the top of our lungs for no reason — it gets quite noisy.

And the “heard” noise doesn’t even include the noise inside my head. I’m one of those people who is constantly talking to themselves. I talk so much to myself that when I actually say something out loud, I’m not certain I’ve actually said it or if I just thought I said it. I sometimes have to double check with my audience. “Did I just say that out loud?”

Which brings me back to running. When I’m running it’s still noisy. My music is up as loud as it can go when I’m on the treadmill. And the conversations in my head don’t stop just because I’m running. My friends and I talk for the duration of our runs except for a few quiet moments here and there. So it’s not exactly the “quiet” that lures me to running.

I believe I love running so much because it’s mine. 

While I’m running I don’t have to be in charge of anyone except for myself. I don’t have to worry about which child is going to cry or scream or break into song at any given moment. I don’t have to hear the dinging of my cell phone when a new message comes in, or see the red circle on my Facebook app telling me I have a notification. 

I get to lose myself in thought. I can think about my next race, or what I want to wear for the day. Or even what my new favorite song is, or perhaps what movie I’d like to see on date night. I can organize my thoughts and clear my head. I can think about loved ones. I can zone out and just… be.

The noise of life stops.

That is why I love running. It may be tough at times. Every runner knows all runs are not created equal. When marathon training gets up in mileage, I’m sure I’ll have plenty to complain about. But the good outweighs the bad. The opportunity trumps the adversity. The freedom is more powerful than the difficulty.

Running sets me free.