My heart has been heavy this week, guys. I try to maintain a positive outlook most of the time, and it usually works. There was a time in my life that I was definitely a negative Nelly, but when I realized how unhappy I was I retrained my brain and thought processes to respond and react more to the positive than the negative.
But that’s not to say I don’t have my moments. And this week has been emotionally trying in some really unexpected and tense ways.
My Heavy Heart
First, let’s talk about Harambe. I’m not going to take up a lot of Internet space on the topic of gorillas and parenthood because everyone else on the planet has already done so. But quickly let me say this. I first heard of this story on a friends’ Facebook profile. He was angry at the death of the gorilla. I uneducatedly (is that a word?) agreed. But then I watched the unedited video and my heart stopped. I can’t even fathom being in this situation. The mother was so calm and composed, comforting her son and reassuring him from afar. Yet there he was being dragged violently around the gorilla’s enclosure. Just gut-wrenching. The whole situation was tragic. I’m not passing judgement on anyone — the mom, the kid, the zoo staff. All I know is if that were me, I wouldn’t be holding my shit together as well as that lady did in front of her son. Kudos to you, mama.
I just. There are no words. I can’t.
Moving on…
Second thing on my mind is that on Wednesday, Global Running Day, I ran by not one, not two, but THREE crushed turtles. I have no idea why it affected me as profoundly as it did, but two of the turtles were what I can only assume were babies. And the third one was no doubt an adult. I’m actually not entirely sure if the adult was dead or alive, but it did have an enormous gash in its shell. It was seriously a really difficult and sad moment for me. I sent an SOS text to my husband to call the police. I’m not sure if they went out to rescue the adult turtle or not, but at least I tried.
Poor little guys.
The third thing I want to discuss is actually really heavy and I’m not even sure if this is the appropriate venue to be discussing it, but it’s on my mind and I need to get it off my chest. I found out a few days ago that one of my coaching colleagues, Bob, suddenly passed. He was only 49. I didn’t know him well so I don’t want to make it sound like I did, but I knew him a little bit and what I knew of him was nothing short of greatness. He was truly an amazing person.
Bob was in my RRCA coaching group. We were the only two from Cleveland. He was a west sider; I was from the east side. He flew into town; I drove. He was a Boston runner; I was training for my first marathon. We were worlds apart but from the same city and somehow at the same RRCA coaching seminar. On the second day of training we were split into small groups where we were tasked with devising the best possible plan to get our athlete to his/her goal. The two Clevelanders from opposite ends of the city were somehow in the same group in a large city far from home. It was like we were meant to know one another.
I remember after the first day of training he asked me if I could drop him off at his hotel. Since I was in completely unfamiliar territory, I said no. Getting lost in the suburbs of DC is a no-go in my book, and I didn’t want to risk it.
When we got back to Cleveland, we signed up for the same CPR/first aid class. I again tried to learn as much from him as I could. I knew he was an accomplished runner and coach, and he was a really nice guy. He cracked jokes, he was polite, and just a pleasure to be around.
Bob’s life ended all too soon. I wish I would have gotten to know him better. I wish I would have given him a ride back to his hotel. But mostly I wish his family and friends peace and love. I was rattled to my core to find out about his passing and I barely knew him except for those few days in person and then via Facebook. I can only imagine the heartache and pain his loved ones are going through.
I really apologize for the heavy nature of this post. You know I usually like to keep things light and fun around here. But just remember to squeeze your loved ones a little tighter and a little longer. Life is short. Let’s make it sweet while we can.
<3 Rest in peace Harambe, little turtles, and most importantly, Coach Bob F. <3
xo
Linking up with Amanda for Thinking Out Loud Thursday
