This Old House

As I sit and look around at the mass of boxes and the sea of clutter surrounding me, I can’t help but become overwhelmed and anxiety-ridden. This entire experience has been baffling and completely mind-blowing. It’s one thing to pack up and move to college. It’s yet another to move to a new house with your new spouse or significant other. It is quite another to pack up what seems like a lifetime of memories with two kids, a spouse, and a dog. The moving process can be quite stressful. But knowing that we can use the assistance of moving services and friends/family, it might not be a tough as we may think. From companies who help transport packed boxes to the new property, to ones that transport vehicles safely (click here for more information), we could all do with a helping hand when it comes to moving house.

This is not for the faint of heart.

Among the piles of newspapers, the rolls of bubble wrap — all the broken-down and re-taped boxes — I find very little time to allow myself to truly envelope the grief I’m certain I will feel when we say goodbye to our first home. My husband and I bought this house when we were newlyweds. We were itching to get out of our two-family home owned by a cranky landlord. We were ready to have our own space.

We moved in with the help of our friends. We loaded and unloaded a U-Haul, rearranged furniture, painted every room, took down and put up curtains. We installed new carpet, refinished hardwood floors. We gutted our kitchen. With our own two hands. And we carefully crafted our new kitchen. With our own two hands.

We brought two babies into the world in this house. We made our house a home. We had two kitties, who have since passed, countless fish, and our loving dog.

My favorite view down my street. I could never tire of this view.

What will I miss about living here? I’m going to miss the pure American vibe this neighborhood emanates. I’m going to miss our wonderfully sunny lot. I’ll miss being able to walk anywhere I need to go during the summer months. I’ll miss the sidewalks. I’ll miss the neighborhood playground and pool. I’ll miss knowing who lives where, what time they leave for work, our mail lady. I’ll miss the familiarity of our neighborhood and the coziness of our home. I’ll especially miss our beautiful, beautiful kitchen.

I’m going to miss running with my bestie at least one weekday morning per week. I’m going to miss my familiar running routes. I’m going to miss the older woman I see “running” every morning — the one who was my beacon of safety way back when.

What won’t I miss? I won’t miss having a two-car detached garage, particularly during the winter. I won’t miss hearing traffic. I won’t miss opening my windows and hearing my neighbors through theirs. I won’t miss living in such tight quarters with three other people.

This journey has been bittersweet. One minute my head is about to explode because I envision the abyss of packing and unpacking that awaits. But the next minute I look to the future and realize how happy we will be in our new home. Our kids will have grand adventures in our new neighborhood. Our dog will love lazing around outside in the shade of the wooded backyard. We will have many new memories to come, and I look forward to it very much.

But I can’t help but think to myself, “this is the last load of laundry I’m going to do in the washer and dryer I picked out.” “This is the last time I’m going to open this fridge.” “This is the last home-cooked meal I will make for my family in our home.”

We planted a tree here. I perfected my challah-baking skills. And my son has magically grown into a kindergartener before my very eyes. Countless birthday parties, Christmases, Chanukahs, Rosh Hashanahs, Yom Kippurs, Passover Seders, and Thanksgivings have been celebrated in this house.

Boo’s Tree: 2013

Boo’s Tree: 2014

Boo’s Tree: 2015

Admittedly, it’s this silly stuff, the mundane everyday-ness that makes me sad to leave. I feel so overwhelmed by the amount of cleaning that will need to be done as soon as we move in. I’m overwhelmed that we have to find window treatments for every. single. window in our new house. I’m overwhelmed that it won’t be perfect right when we get there. At least i’m not overwhelmed by the moving itself – we reached out to a friend who had a great time finding moving companies Chicago earlier in the year, and now they helped us find great people to take us to the next step of our life.

Still, it took years to make our home exactly what we wanted it to be. Just the right paint color here, just the right curtain and curtain rod there. It seems like just yesterday that everything was finally perfect. And now we’re leaving it all behind.

Some days it seems like our house is mad at us for moving. Suddenly a cabinet door will look really dirty. Or I’ll hear a loud creak upstairs when no one’s up there. Maybe our house is grieving, too. I know it is such a huge thing to move and so many new things to happen, but the investment opportunities of a new house is great for our family, it can be somewhere our kids might raise their kids years from now, it’s the good we must look at.

But I know the new owner will love it just as much as we do, and she’ll take good care of it. I hope anyway. And we will love our new house and take care of it, and lovingly make it perfectly ours just like we did with this one. And all will be well in the world.

Goodbye house. Thank you for all the awesome memories. For being our shelter in the storms. For being a safe haven of love and comfort for our family. We will miss you. ??

xo

?? ?? ??