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Losing My Childhood, Gaining Theirs

April 10, 2015
I’m not gonna lie. This has been one tiring week. Having two kids around all day long and having to entertain them together is both time consuming and exhausting. But I’ve also been loving it. It’s nice to not have to drag Little Bee back and forth to preschool drop-off and pick-up. It’s been great to go to museums, out to lunch, to the mall, out to breakfast, etc. It’s been relaxing to hang out at home and watch a couple shows. We even got to play outside a couple times this week!

While I was reading to my daughter before naptime earlier this week, I started thinking. I used to have a very clear memory of my childhood. It could simply be due to time and age that my memory is fading, or it could be that I’m so distracted by taking care of my own children that I have less time to daydream and reflect. Either way, it makes me a little sad. I enjoyed being a kid. My favorite books were Hop on Pop, Green Eggs and Ham, and The Little Engine That Could. I remember my dad reading them to me over and over again, without complaint, as any good dad would. (Although, being on the grown-up end of it now, I’m sure he did complain — just out of earshot!)

There are days that I just can’t stand being a parent, let alone a stay-at-home-parent. It’s tough! Being a mom is the hardest job I’ve ever had. Going to work and sitting at a desk or in meetings all day is tiring. But raising and molding a child all day long is stressful! Everything I do is under scrutiny, either by them or by me. 

Did I say a bad word? Will Little Bee or Boo repeat it? How does it look when I throw a temper tantrum because I’m overly frustrated? Will they make my same mistakes? Are they watching too much TV? Did Little Bee eat enough for lunch?
I do my fair share of complaining, no doubt. How could I not? I’m only human. Sometimes I worry I’ve lost my temper so many times that I’ve permanently scarred them. But then there are the days that are indescribably amazing. Even if Boo is terrorizing his sister, or driving me up a wall, I still look at him and see this bright, intelligent, curious little person asking question after question after question. His little brain is soaking up all he possibly can, and it’s truly amazing. And then there’s Little Bee. She’s talking so much, and putting together 3-5 word sentences already. She can put on her own shoes. I’m sure if I let her she could get dressed by herself, too. Just amazing.

Raising the little people has given me a new perspective, that’s for sure. Not only is my memory of my own childhood drifting farther away, but it almost becomes clearer at the same time. I’m reliving my youth with these kids, while they’re simultaneously stressing me out so much that I’m turning gray. It’s incredible how these little buggers can do that. 🙂

As this week comes to a close, we’ll be spending one more fantastic day of spring break together. We have a house showing, so we’ll go to the mall to hang out, throw some pennies into the fountain, and have lunch. Or maybe we’ll just run some errands and hit up Chick-Fil-A (Boo’s all-time favorite!). For the remainder of the day, I’ll be sure to get in lots of quality time playing, coloring, reading, and snuggling — because come Monday, it’ll be back to the grind.
xo
Tell me… Are you a parent? As you age, do you find you’re losing concrete memories of your youth? 


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