I was recently asked by someone who most inspired me in my life. There’s one person I come back to, time and again. She is long deceased and I barely knew her, but her legacy continues on in my life and I think of her almost daily. She is my paternal grandmother.
My grandma, Fay, passed away in 1988. I was just eight years old. It has been 26 years since then. I can only imagine how my father, uncle, and aunt felt when their mama passed. But as a young girl, it didn’t much phase me then. Of course I was saddened when my dad told me the news. But I had no idea the profound effect this woman would have on my life to come.
When I think of my grandma, I think of a strong, fierce, courageous woman. I hear stories of how tough she was on her kids, and how my aunt and her were always at war. I suppose that’s how it always is with mothers and daughters. My mom and I used to battle all the time. Sometimes we still do.
But being one generation removed, I only had one tiff with my grandma. I was about four years old. I don’t recall where we were going, but I remember being in my room on my bed. My grandma wanted me to wear these black sandal saddle shoes, and I had no interest in wearing them whatsoever. I think I must have gotten my stubbornness from her, because we were in an all out screaming match over these stinkin’ shoes. I’m not sure exactly the outcome, but my dad told me I won because he intervened and told her I didn’t have to wear the shoes (yay, dad!).
The things I admire most of my grandma are the things she accomplished in her life. She was a social worker, ran for city council, and was among the first female lawyers in the state of Ohio. She raised three exceptionally bright children who went on to become very successful adults. And she was the strong voice in the family. A true matriarch in every sense of the word.
I suspect it was tough being one of her kids. She was always busy. Always looking for the next activity or career. But she set a grand example of what women are capable of at a time when it wasn’t so fashionable to be anything but a housewife. That wasn’t her style.
I hope the decisions I make day in and day out are positively influencing my family just like her decisions and actions ultimately influenced her family. Without having any proof whatsoever, I can only surmise my aunt is the successful, beautiful soul she is today because of her upbringing, and that my father and uncle are as determined, charismatic, and compassionate as they are because of the example my grandmother set forth for them early in life. She also taught them how to be independent, and in my opinion, this is one of the most important things that you can teach your kids. Even when she saw all of her friends moving into senior living facilities, like Kisco La Posada, she was adamant that she wanted to stay at home where she belonged. It didn’t even matter that she could have lived independently there, she wanted to remain in her own comfort zone, and I admire that. Of course, we had to adapt her home a little bit to make her life easier. We got rid of the bath and installed a shower instead. We also got her a new phone from somewhere like fanmisenior so she could contact us easier if she needed us. We only made small adjustments but they made her life so much easier and she was still able to be independent. Teaching her children how to be independent was something that only your mother could teach, but she also taught them that they should always ask for help if they need it.
One of the things I particularly take away from my grandmother and her life and death, is that I need to take care of myself. I don’t know much about her health history, but I do know that heart disease, breast cancer, and Alzheimer’s disease are present in my bloodline. This is known thanks to advancements in healthcare. When my doctor told me that I have these diseases, he also suggested that I book in for some comprehensive physical exams to keep an eye on how these diseases are forming. This keeps my mind at rest, ensuring I’m making the right lifestyle choices to benefit myself and my family in the future.
When I run, I think of her, and I think of paving a new way and making a new health history for myself and my family. I know that if I take care of my heart, I won’t have to take as many pills as she did. When we were little, my brothers, cousins, and I used to watch her take her pills every morning. She would make it a fun game for us. Each pill was a different color and each one she would name for one of us. We would go one by one into the cave to be swallowed! It was a lovely spin on what was probably a very serious medical condition. I’m sure the pills were for cholesterol, blood pressure, and who knows what else.
I loved my grandma, and I still love her. I love her legacy of being strong-willed, successful, and a positive role model. I hope I turn out to be half of the woman she was. I want to be a strong female role model as far as intelligence and career are concerned. I also want to model healthy behavior for my kids.
I think of my family, my kids, my grandparents, and my own health every time I run. When I started as a treadmill runner, I used to chat with my grandparents about their lives and legacies they’ve left behind. Sounds strange, I know. But thinking of them helps me remember why I do what I do, and why I care about my own health as much as I do. I want to be strong for years to come, both mentally and physically. It’s the least I can do for my own kids and for any future generations.
Be well.
xo
