Drano, Ants, Frogs, and the Playground

Can we discuss the ridiculousness that today’s story has become? Last night I debated whether I should post a blog in anticipation of today. For whatever reason I decided I would hold off and blog in the morning as I normally do. Unfortunately, things went awry starting at 5:30 am. Here’s a timeline of my day so far:

5:30 am — woken up by baby crying

6:30 am — woken up by husband in a sudden flurry of panic to get Drano from the store because there’s a 3″ deep puddle of standing water in the shower.

6:34 am — son comes in my room “where did daddy just go?!” (WHO CARES?! GO BACK TO BED!)

6:40 am — Boo argues with dog at the bottom of the stairs.

6:42 am — Boo arrives back in my room with a FLASHLIGHT to search for his daddy… whom he just witnessed leaving in a car.

6:47 am — flustered husband arrives home and is angry that CVS isn’t open when it clearly states on their website that they open at 7 am… oops… ?

No shower for mommy.

7:30 am — husband leaves, baby wakes.

8:30 am — out the door to Target to acquire Drano. Add a pitstop at Whole Foods for cooking ingredients.

9:45 am — Operation Drano commences.

10:00 am — put baby down for nap. Baby throws Elmo out of crib. Crying ensues.

10:15 am — Operation Drano complete and successful!

10:30 am — Mommy retrieves Elmo from the floor. Baby sleeps. Mommy showers! Whoop!

11:15 am — Mommy foolishly starts making no-bake energy balls. Boo finds ants on the wall during snack time. Major ant invasion. Rapid clean up and Raiding occurs. Dead ants.

11:30 am — Resume energy ball making. Baby wakes, crying.

11:45 am — haul ass to make lunch, give baby a snack, and finish energy balls.

12:00 pm — forget about energy balls. Leave “batter” in the fridge.

12:15 pm — load kids into the car as fast as humanly possible to get them to the playground for picnic and playtime.

1:45 pm — Boo refusing to listen to mommy. Mommy finds a frog to show to Boo and friend. Friend quickly snatches it up and runs amok with it. Poor froggy. Squished froggy.

***froggy update: It lives!***

2:40 pm — Rest time. Finally. Mommy sits. Blogging begins.

—

Are you kidding me? Someone please turn off this day.

I. Am. Spent.

And all of this on my rest day?!

Needless to say, my predetermined post for today regarding health and nutrition is being pushed to the wayside. I’ve also come to the conclusion, which I’ve concluded many times before over the last four and a half years but I’ve re-concluded, is that motherhood is the epitome of the world’s hardest job. When I go back to work, I will never complain about a hard day again. Because folks, it’s nothing compared to being a stay-at-home-mom! This is nuts!!