So it turns out that I’m really not a baby person. I mean, I already knew that going into this, but the last couple days have really driven the point home.
No sleep, sore breasts and nipples, crying baby equals one sad, crying mama. I had a bona fide meltdown on Saturday night when baby woke up at 2 am for a feeding and was still wide awake at 5. My fabulous husband finally took her downstairs, put her in the baby swing and waited for her to fall asleep. He napped for an hour on the couch before our son woke up ready for the day. That’s when you know you’ve found your soulmate. When the other person is willing to sacrifice their own sleep and sanity for the benefit of yours.
Again last night she was wide awake for 5+ hours. Since he had been running on 2 hours of sleep all day, when we finally got her to settle down, I took care of her for the rest of the night.
We have since decided two things. One, we are probably going to move her to her crib instead of letting her sleep in the bassinet in our room. And two, we will be making the switch to formula sooner rather than later. Even this is tricky now there are so many formula options out there. Although, I’ve been researching organic baby milk like the ones from Tastyganics and they look pretty promising. As you know, I try to be as healthy as I can so will always choose organic options when I can. We’ve been thinking that maybe we should invest in a baby sleeping bag too, as they’re designed to bring comfort to the child. There is a list of the best-rated ones at bestformums.co.uk, so luckily there should be no problem in purchasing a quality sleeping bag.
Breastfeeding, in all it’s glory, is just not for me. The lack of sleep, the engorged boobs, the sore and cracked nipples, the baby gagging and choking on forceful letdown, and the frustration and isolation of being banished to the nursing chair are all just a little much for me to handle. And not only is it negatively affecting me, it is now spreading to my husband. Am I sad that I won’t be able to feed my little one? Sure, of course. But we are willing and able to accept the reality that if mom isn’t happy, no one is.
I’m nervous to wean because of the breast engorgement issue, but I’m hopeful that if we start during nighttime I won’t even notice.
Babies are hard work. I don’t want to wish my daughter older but I can’t wait for the fun stuff to begin. The smiles, the rolling over, sitting up on her own, the consistency of scheduled sleep and feeding times…
It will be glorious! Who knows, I might even get to go on a date night with my husband, but I need to check out something like a babysitter checklist before I consider leaving my baby with anybody!
Now to make it there with sanity intact…
