Who's the Boss? - Running on Happy

As you know (or not), I am the organizer of a playgroup. It’s so much more than a traditional playgroup. Check out www.meetup.com and you’ll see what I mean. It’s hard to describe, but it’s almost like a small office. Of course I liken it to work, because I have turned it into a full-time job for myself that I can do from home. We have a calendar packed with activities, we have membership dues, we have discussion boards — the whole nine yards. It’s really fun meeting new people and doing new activities, and keeping myself busy trying to find new things for the group to do. And I truly do love it.

Except the one thing that I really don’t love. I really don’t love having to be the “boss.” I mean, I LOVE being the boss, don’t get me wrong. I’m really great at organization and delegating, so managing really is the perfect job for me, but I hate being viewed as the “boss.” I feel like it has put me at a disadvantage when it comes to finding and making long-term friends for both Snarfy and myself. No one wants to be friends with the boss at work, and everyone has a run-in with the boss at some point or another, and unfortunately now I’m that person.

I hate having to nag new members to pay their membership dues or to make sure they are participating in activities. Because of anonymity on the web and the fact that there are so many creepers out there, I have discovered the need to have a strict participation policy. If you aren’t participating within your first 30 days of membership in our group, you’re out. But because of this policy and dues, it sometimes pits me against members. It’s awful!

I got a really nasty email from a former member of my playgroup this morning. I was at the mall with little Boo doing some random shopping, and in pops a total mood changer in my inbox. I usually try not to let the little things get to me. Like these emails from disgruntled former members. I can’t please everyone, and there is no use getting all worked up about it. But this one really bothered me. She was so bitter and downright rude. She went as far as to say, in closing, how much she enjoyed meeting the women in the group and hoped to run into them all soon. She intentionally left me out of the equation. While I understand I’m the leader of the group, and I’m the one who’s going to take the brunt of the anger, it still seems a bit extreme to imply that she never wants to see me again. I actually had really liked her and thought we hit it off as friends the two times I had seen her.

I get it. I know being the boss and the face of the company will bring unpleasantries to the spotlight. I’m not an idiot. I’ve had my fair share of members and former members, and potential members, being unhappy with me. But this time was so different. I guess all the other times no one has really personally attacked me. This one seemed a constant torrent of innuendo. My friend says, “Oh well, you can’t win them all,” and she’s right. But it still sucks, especially when I was under the false impression of friendship with this individual. Lesson learned, I guess. Make no assumptions.

Thankfully these occurrences are rare. If they weren’t, I’m sure I would have stepped down as organizer a long time ago. My job has been extremely challenging from the get-go. Much more challenging than I ever envisioned it would be. It is especially challenging during the cold weather months. It’s hard to motivate myself to get out of the house, let alone a crew of 60. I am ever grateful for the unending supply of volunteers to host playdates and help come up with ideas for new get togethers. It’s definitely tiring, but in the end, totally worth it.

I am forever indebted to the plethora of kind words, sweet friends, and courageous women who have helped, and continue to help, make our playgroup what it is today. These amazing people are the ones who I put up with the sh*t for. They make it worthwhile, and they make it easy to brush off the nasty emails written in haste from disgruntled people.

Thanks, friends.