Point #1: As evidenced by my recent “Livestrong Girl” series, I have worked my ass off to get back in shape and look and feel like a million bucks for the last nine months. Before that, I was wallowing in self pity, shame and borderline depression. I’m not ready to give up my body again. Maybe it’s selfish. But if I can’t be selfish about anything else in my life, I might as well be selfish about the one thing I can control and that happens to be how I look. For now. I’m so vain…
Point #2: I don’t function well with little to no sleep. At all. I know everyone says they don’t either, but there are people who can pull all nighters and be fine for one or two days with just a couple of hours of sleep under their belt. Me? Nope. I am a walking, hormonally imbalanced, zombie of a bitch when I don’t get enough sleep. Just ask my husband. To bring a new baby into this world, with a raging hormonal woman like me as it’s mother, and to put Boo’s life and happiness in the middle of it, is completely unfair.
Point #3: My husband and I like our life the way it is. We are happy as a threesome. Maumm, Dahee and Boo. Three peas in a pod. We all receive ample sleep, Boo receives an insane amount of attention, and we are all thriving as a cohesive family unit. The black looming question mark threatens the very existence of this happiness.
Point #4: Finances. Enough said. We’ve already found that our finances have taken a big hit since having Boo, although we wouldn’t change it for the world. But since becoming a mother, I’ve found myself looking into areas that I never expected to look into, like life insurance. My husband has also switched himself onto money-making methods and started looking into the various forex apps uk has available that could allow him to start trading foreign currencies for profit… I think I’ll leave that to him and prays he does well! I’ll just focus on our insurances for now. If anything happened to my husband or me (god forbid), then we’d need to have some extra finances in place to ensure that they could still be supported when we’re no longer with them. So, I’ve decided to start comparing some quotes, (click here if you’re in the same situation) to see which one suits us the best, as well as one that doesn’t break the bank. Going down this route will also put a further strain on our finances, and this is something that we could do with avoiding, even though this could be a very important point to think about.
Point #5: My fears of pregnancy, labor and delivery are strong and unfaded. I had a rough time with Boo. Who is to say the same series of events won’t unfold with a second one? I was enormously bloated throughout pregnancy, I had a difficult and long labor, and my recovery was a disaster. I hated breast feeding. The only reason I would ever do it again is if it were a guarantee to lose weight and get back in shape. But even that isn’t enough to make me want to do it again. It is safe to put the full blame for my feelings on the topic on the psychotic lactation consultants that were continuously pinching my nipples and squishing my boobs for a week straight. They scared me off. But what the hell did I know? I was a new mom, and everything I had read said that lactation consultants were “there to help” and “breastmilk is best.” God forbid someone create baby formula… Oh, wait! Someone did! And I shall use it if we ever have a second one.
Point #6: What happens if I love the new baby more than I love Boo? Or if I love Boo more than the new baby? I might end up being the world’s worst mother. I’m already borderline with one child…
Point #1: I don’t want to not have another one and regret it later. Say, when I’m 40. Even if I will be able to have another, medically speaking, I don’t think I could handle it physically or mentally. I’m already exhausted, so what would another ten years do?
Point #2: If we’re going to have a second, we would have to do it now to avoid being too old and run down (see point #1 for further explanation).
Point #3: We have a solid support system in place now. Aside from the fact that we have very little family in the area, our newfound friends have made a lasting impression on our new, little family. I think we would be able to survive a new baby if we had these people around as support. There are also plenty of online resources around these days, so even if I found myself asking “How often should you bath your kids?” I’d be able to find out in no time.
Point #4: I would be able to “right” the “wrongs” from my first pregnancy, labor and delivery, as well as postpartum mistakes. See point #5 above. This would only happen if point #5 above doesn’t happen.