I wanted to blog yesterday, but unfortunately that’s not the way the cookie crumbled. See, apparently, my little one decided that he should wake up at 5:50 am and be up for the day. So when naptime arrived, I put him down a bit early to see if he could make up some missing sleep and have a good three hour nap. Notsomuch. He went down at 12:40 and woke up promptly at 1:45 pm.
So needless to say, yesterday was a very, very, very long day.
Today has gone much better. My dad is in town visiting for the week, so every morning Boo yells for “papa” and the day begins. This morning he (my child) slept until around 7:00 am. Already a good start. Then papa and I, and my aunt and uncle, took him to a farm/petting zoo type place where we met my best friend and her son, Boo’s best friend. The boys got to see horses, pigs, make cheese and see cows, and have a pony ride. And the weather was beautiful. It was a very nice morning.
Toward the end of our time there, we came across a model railroad. Now, I can tell you when my child’s tired and crossing over the threshold into the “overtired” danger zone. When he is teetering on the brink, he usual becomes fixated on one object and won’t forget about it for a while. This time around it was the train. My uncle spotted the model railroad and of course Boo and his best buddy wanted to watch it. My uncle encouraged “choo choo train,” to which Boo promptly repeated. Over. And over. And over. Again.
Baby Boo was so tired and hungry and ready to go home that he said “bye bye choo choo” for almost the entire trip home. Oy vey.
We finally made it home. I rushed through lunch and tried to shove food down his throat, and I finally got him in bed for a halfway decent nap. He hasn’t been sleeping for two hours yet and I already hear him. Hopefully he’ll go back to sleep.
Anyways, the reason I’m telling you about nap and sleep is that my biggest fear is of nap and sleep. I already disclosed my fear of vomit, so this will make more sense in a second. If Boo wakes up from a nap, or sleep, and is crying, I immediately panic. I panic that he is sick — either with a cold, a fever or worst possible case scenario, sick to his stomach. Every time I hear the cry, I freak out.
We slept with the monitor on for a long, long time. Finally, during one of my last major meltdowns, we made the decision to turn it off at night. My husband and I have been sleeping wonderfully since then.
But that still leaves naptime. And that’s sort of how it ended yesterday. He woke up at 1:45 screaming bloody murder. I panicked, as I always do, but of course by the time I got up there, nothing was wrong. He was still exhausted and wouldn’t go back to sleep, but he wasn’t sick and he certainly wasn’t throwing up on me. I’m sure he just had a bad dream or something of the sort and couldn’t go back to sleep, but for the two minutes that I was unsure of what was going on, my adrenaline skyrocketed.
Consequently, it affected my nighttime sleep last night, too. I was so exhausted. I had run two miles yesterday morning, chased Boo all day long, took him and my dad to a playground and we were playing in the sun. By the time the sun was down, I was pooped! But I couldn’t sleep. My adrenaline was all sorts of jacked up because of being amped up earlier in the day. I didn’t end up falling, or staying, asleep for a long time. Today I am totally wiped out.
I’m not sure where this leaves me. I always tell myself how ridiculous it is to be scared of being sick. I really truly think the last winter season just ruined my psyche. We were sick almost every week. And the fear of vomit, on top of all of this, and then actually getting a stomach-flu type of sickness twice within four months just made it that much worse.
Thankfully naptime came and went without much hitch today. I hear him stirring some more so it’s probably time I go get him out of bed. In the meantime, I am trying really hard to let go of this fear of vomit thing. It’s so ridiculous. And who cares if we get sick again? It’s bound to happen sooner or later.
He’s talking loudly now, so I guess it’s time to post and log off.
Much love and happiness, health and well being. Cheers!