I’ve felt this way before, but it’s never been this “in your face.” The reality of living in a city without parents or siblings. This sucks.
My best friend is in town visiting from California. He only makes the trek once a year. Of course my husband and I are the only of our friends who has a child, so planning is a little willy nilly. Plus, historically as a group, we never planned anything more than a couple hours in advance when we all lived in the same city anyway. So no surprise there. But when one of your best friends that you never see says, “Hey, what are we doing tonight?” and you have nothing to do with your child — that’s when it hits. If my parents were still in Cleve, I could easily say “Hey mom, can you watch Boo for a couple hours?” But they don’t live here. No one does.
I’ve tried calling out to friends on Facebook, to no avail. And I’ve even emailed fellow moms from my playgroup. Nothing.
I guess normally it wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but this is happening at a time in my life when I very much need “me” time and when I need to be with the friends that know me, and have known me, best for a long period of my life. These are the guys I’ve essentially grown up with. T-dawg and I rode the same bus together. He makes fun of my frizz-ball hair and I make fun of his ridiculously uptight posture, never turning his head without moving his entire body in the same direction. We reminisce about our skeevy bus driver, Mike. Good times.
But anyways, back to the point… When I need to get out, and do things on my own, and be with close friends and take a yoga class — this is the time when I need my family to be available to help take care of my child.
There is one person I have been able to consistently count on to help when I need it. Her family still lives in the Cleve, and she knows the struggles I’ve been facing lately. She helps whenever she can, and she is such a loving and happy person that she doesn’t even think twice about helping a friend in need. For this, I am eternally grateful. This person also happens to be another best friend — one I’ve known for a very, very long time.
I’ll probably go out without my husband tonight. Which is totally okay. But I guess the part that stinks is that we were going to try out our first yoga class together tonight, and then meet up with friends afterward. We’ll try yoga over the weekend instead. I just wish it didn’t have to be like that. I wish I could call my mom or my dad or my sister-in-law, or my in-laws and my other sister-in-law, and ask for help. They all love the babe so much and would never mind watching him for a couple hours while my husband and I had some much needed time to ourselves. But this is the society we live in. By choice, or not by choice, it is what it is.
Counting the days.
