I recently read an article on the Huffington Post website. It is called “Nostalgic for High School? Rethinking the ‘Reminiscence Bump.'” Here’s the link if you’re interested. The article discusses how social norms have influenced us into using life event scripts, and grouping memories into one formative time of our lives — early adulthood.
This got me thinking. Many of my favorite memories are from high school and college, but most of my favorite memories involve at least one person. Namely, my best friend. Naturally, I started reminiscing about these super important and very influential people in my life.
The first best friend I can remember was Holly. Her family was from California. She had two older brothers like me, she had a doggy that looked like mine, and we were inseparable. When we were in third grade, her father’s work transferred them back to California. Agora Hills to be exact. I still remember the street, too. We wrote each other letters, and she told me all about Knotts Berry Farm and how much I would like it. But over time, the letter writing stopped, and we haven’t spoken since.
My next very best friend was Desaree. We were attached at the hip. We didn’t go anywhere without one another. We practically lived at one another’s houses. A duo to reckon with! We had crushes on the same boys and loved the same movies. We were sisters born to different families. We spent weekends at the mall, and afternoons after school romping in the woods. Over time our tastes in fashion, boys and friends changed. We are still in touch, but no longer best friends. We have great memories together.
Heather was next on my best friend list. We had so many inside jokes, it’s not even funny. I still remember most of them, too! Chonk, chonk, chonk! Hopefully she’s reading this, because if not, sorry but no one else in the world will ever know what I’m talking about. Heather went to another school starting in 8th grade. We tried to maintain our best friendship, but we changed over time, and the friendship waned.
My next two best friends were in tandem. Both started early, in kindergarten. One was Alex, the other was Mary. I knew them both in kindergarten and we were friends then. Alex and I were better friends then, but she moved to Hilton Head when we were young, and then moved back as we entered high school. Alex, Mary and I were the three amigos. The three stooges. Peas, carrots and green beans in a bag of frozen vegetables. We did everything together. We had sleepovers, we went to movies, we got in trouble. The list could go on for pages and miles. We wore white nail polish together, we wore black nail polish together. We listened to Smashing Pumpkins, Live and Crash Test Dummies. We sang in choir together, and shared a room when we traveled to Florida. As time went on, Alex changed schools. Mary and I remained friends. She is still one of my best friends today.
Lena, Julie and Ilissa were mixed in with my best friendship with Alex and Mary. Lena, Julie and Ilissa were different kinds of best friends. They were camp friends. We spent our summers together in the north woods of Wisconsin. Cabin trips, canoe trips, sailing trips, hiking trips. Eating GORP, making Carb Spaghetti, and “big spooning” were all part of our repertoire at camp. We paddled the Nam, hiked the Porkies and canoed the Quetico. We enjoyed ice cream from the Scoop, went crazy for Tremblay’s and saw a “bar” on many occasion in the north woods. I still like to think I can call Lena, Julie and Ilissa best friends. We don’t see much of each other, but when we do it’s like time has stood still and we pick up right where we left off.
My current, and very very past, best friend is a little girl named Danielle. Danielle and I were across-the-street neighbors when we were young. She was probably six or seven, and I was ten or eleven. About the same time as my BFF Desaree and I were friends. From what I recall, if I wasn’t spending time with Desaree, I was with Danielle. And many times, the three of us were together. Danielle and I lost touch with each other after I broke her sister’s tooth out of her mouth (long story), and we recently connected up again. We are friends again and spend about as much time together as is possible considering we both have toddlers now. The babies play together and we hang out when it’s feasible. We text every three minutes. The best part is that our boys were born three days apart. It was fate. I still remember her as my seven year old neighbor.
My most influential memories are not cultural scripts. They are scripts that I have created centered around the most important people in my life. I am fortunate that I have compartmentalized my memories. I’m sure in ten years my compartments will be long gone but hopefully not. I’d like to remember these people fondly as I get older. I like my memories and my autobiography.
