Someone recently told me that I think deeply and feel things on a level most don’t (and probably shouldn’t). I admit it’s exhausting to constantly be analyzing and reanalyzing conversations, tones of voice, facial expressions and other non-verbal cues.
Unfortunately, I don’t think this is a trait of mine I can control. Thing is, I’m a Scorpio. Do I believe every horoscope I read? No, of course not. What I do understand though is that there are links between star sign and behaviour and star sign and compatibility, and these horoscopes can potentially help people change their lifestyle. Maybe become a lot more productive than usual, or maybe not care as much about other people’s opinions. With this being said, this all depends on the star sign. Even something like a psychic reading could reveal your future, so it does sort of make sense for people to be interested in all this.
But if it’s one thing that has held true and fast through my years on this planet, it has been the characteristics of my sun sign.
A short blurb about Scorpios:
Scorpios are the most intense, profound, powerful characters in the zodiac. Even when they appear self-controlled and calm there is a seething intensity of emotional energy under the placid exterior. They are like the volcano not far under the surface of a calm sea, it may burst into eruption at any moment. But those of us who are particularly perceptive will be aware of the harnessed aggression, the immense forcefulness, magnetic intensity, and often strangely hypnotic personality under the tranquil, but watchful composure of Scorpio. In conventional social gatherings they are pleasant to be with, thoughtful in conversation, dignified, and reserved, yet affable and courteous; they sometimes possess penetrating eyes which make their shyer companions feel naked and defenseless before them.
In their everyday behavior they give the appearance of being withdrawn from the center of activity, yet those who know them will recognize the watchfulness that is part of their character. They need great self-discipline, because they are able to recognize the qualities in themselves that make them different from other humans, and to know their utterly conventional natures can be used for great good, or great evil. Their tenacity and willpower are immense, their depth of character and passionate conviction overwhelming, yet they are deeply sensitive and easily moved by their emotions. Their sensitivity, together with a propensity for extreme likes and dislikes make them easily hurt, quick to detect insult or injury to themselves (often when none is intended) and easily aroused to ferocious anger. This may express itself in such destructive speech or action that they make lifelong enemies by their outspokenness, for they find it difficult not to be overly critical of anything or anyone to whom they take a dislike.
source: http://www.astrology-online.com/scorpio.htm
It has occured to me time and again that in certain situations it’s better to say nothing than to say something that may be construed as hurtful or malicious. I am contrite in these instances. However, as shown by my ruling sun sign, sometimes I cannot control my emotions or how things come across when I do try to convey my feelings.
It is in these circumstances when others should sit back and realize what they may have said or done to evoke such raw emotion from me.
One of the bigger struggles I’ve been dealing with is how to be treated as an adult amongst family members. I am the youngest sibling. And the last to do everything. But I’m a grown woman, almost 30 years old. I have a husband of two and a half years, and a seven month old son. So how is it that I am still treated as if I have nothing to say, and the things that I do say are meaningless, arbitrary? I am usually dismissed as being young and inexperienced. More importantly, why is it that when my husband, baby and I do something that my siblings and siblings-in-law ahead of me have already done for some time, are we looked upon in a negative light, and given grief for the action that occurred?
Another struggle I’ve been dealing with my entire life, and more recently in the working world, is how to come across as a go-getter and assertive, as opposed to a bitch. In my professional life, I always had to take a backseat to keep from being labeled as such. I kept my mouth shut most of the time, and came home and vented to my husband. In my most recent position, I decided that I would stand up for myself, share my opinions and take charge of my situations to influence positive change. Unfortunately it backfired and I was, again, seen as a virago.
I’ve recently started a playgroup of my own. I consider myself the President, CEO and CFO of this group. I’m finally in a position of power. And I want to use my power for the good of the group. I want to make sure everyone is happy, everyone is included and everyone is treated fairly. But I don’t think it’s working. My democratic approach to membership dues, playdate locations and times, and various other things that influence group activity seem not to be paying off, but instead seem to be backfiring dramatically. It seems that instead of wanting an equal vote, most people just want to be told what to do. They’d rather not give ideas of things they’d like to do. Instead, they would rather complain about the plans, or times of day, that have not come to fruition.
So you see, I’m in a lose-lose situation. I voice my opinion and take care of my family and I end up hurting someone’s feelings, or disrupting the herd. I am assertive at work to make things better, and I end up being labeled a bitch. I take control of a situation so that I can find some semblance of sanity and happiness, and there are some that are upset that I don’t come up with every idea under the sun.
So what’s a Scorpio to do? I’ll just sit back and observe.
For now.
